A few weeks ago, I wrote a post entitled “I Don’t Want to Be Your Twin Anymore.” It was about my first meeting with 85-year-old identical twin women who sought help to figure out why their relationship had become so contentious and ugly. Couples therapy can work miracles when both participants long for change and harmony. In our second session together, both women demonstrated how beautifully transformations can happen when people have open hearts and open minds. In our first […]

Twins who have parented each other in the absence of reliable and available adult caretakers develop a unique style of communicating and being in the world. They are a closed societal unit interacting primarily with each other. They are left affectually adrift and abandoned. Nonetheless, they create a mutually sophisticated dyadic level of relating that is authentic and supportive. They emotionally sustain each other until outside resources become available. A pair of identical twin women in their midtwenties suffered with […]

Why did 85-year-old identical twin sisters decide to repudiate their twinship? The explanation is both complicated and simple. The simple version is that both women have not been able to accept their personality differences. Marlene said, “I was always embarrassed by Mabel’s loud and boisterous presence. I was so relieved to get married and move away so that I would no longer have to live with her.” Marlene and Mabel have accused each other of being abusive and unreasonable. What […]

Comparisons and competition exist in most sibling relationships; nonetheless, for obvious reasons the emotional stakes are higher for twins. In fact, some twin pairs have a very hard time learning to handle competition as they grow up. Since they may not acknowledge or work through this developmental milestone until much later in their lives, the threat of twin estrangement looms large. Naturally, different-age siblings encounter similar difficulties. Yet due to unfortunate misperceptions, twins are not supposed to have rivalrous feelings […]

Recognizing my passionate obsession with twin relationships, many people have asked me to share my thoughts about the twin dynamics highlighted in the Netflix series Echoes. While I found the story line confusing and fabricated, I thoroughly enjoyed Michelle Monaghan’s intriguing performance as both Leni and Gina as well as a glimpse into a disturbing pathological twin relationship. A bit of background for those who may have not watched the program (warning: spoilers ahead). Leni and Gina are identical twins […]