The caretaking roles that twins take on for each other can be deep, lifelong, and genuine. However, when the power dynamic shifts, potential problems arise. An identical twin woman in her thirties (Leah) contacted me about her sister (Marissa). Leah has pleaded with Marisa to get professional help for her chronic medical problems, but Marisa refuses. Marisa wants Leah to leave her alone and not interfere. Listening to Leah’s angst and helplessness made me think of parents who cannot impact […]

Recently I have done a number of consultations involving the issue of having an abusive twin. Of course, this type of situation is not uncommon among nontwin siblings. However, it does not fit the stereotypical notion that twins are best friends forever. Nevertheless, on closer examination, it is not difficult to discern how certain twin dynamics can lead to this behavioral paradigm. Twins are exquisitely sensitive to each other’s feelings and needs. To keep their connection stable, one twin may […]

The intense outpouring of strong opinions regarding the issue of inviting one twin to a party and not including her sister has provoked an unexpected outcry on social media. I suggest that a more overarching issue has touched and inflamed many people: the cultural stereotyping of twins has been attacked and dismantled by the notion of separating the twins. Throughout the ages, twins have been portrayed as indivisible soul mates who will remain together forever in life and beyond. So […]

I have had the pleasure of working with several identical male twin pairs. Interestingly, in a number of instances, the parents of the twins reach out for help for their sons. Mothers and fathers alike are stunned and grief-stricken, at a loss to figure out why their closely bonded twins have stopped speaking to or seeing each other. They have little patience with or understanding about how or why the twin bond has collapsed. Never in their wildest dreams had […]

Helping patients find the courage and motivation to confront situations or experiences that feel too anxiety provoking or paralyzing is a therapeutic goal. Behavioral changes resulting from exposure to seemingly untenable situations can enhance the emotional growth facilitated by psychotherapy. The following narrative is a case in point. An identical twin woman in her midtwenties, “Marcy,” recounted a recent story. She had signed up for a four-day conference and had planned to be there with her twin sister. However, at […]