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Sibling Rivalry: It’s Never out of Fashion

A recent post on Facebook by a mother asking for advice about handling her twins’ constant arguing generated more than one hundred comments. I read through most of the responses, looking for recurrent themes, thoughts, or threads. Curiously, a number of adult twins wrote that fighting among twins is normal and not to worry. Parents posted concerns about biting, hitting, verbal and physical aggression, and incessant bickering. The post prompted me to reread a book published more than twenty years […]

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Respecting and Treating Multiples as Individuals

I recently received a press release about an exciting event that the International Council of Multiple Birth Organisations (ICOMBO) is holding this month: International Multiple Birth Awareness Week (IMBAW) is being celebrated from 9–15 November 2020. The theme for this year is ‘Building a Global Community: Championing the rights of multiples.’ ICOMBO’s International Multiple Birth Awareness Week is held every second year. A key focus of the week is to educate communities and professionals about the unique challenges of the […]

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A Scientific Scrutiny of Individuality

Recently, while I was driving, my radio was tuned by propitious coincidence to an interview with Dr. David J. Linden, a neuroscientist and the author of Unique: The New Science of Human Individuality (New York: Basic Books, 2020). Since I frequently reference individuality in my writing, I was deeply interested in listening to his perspectives and findings. Subsequently, I bought his book and decided to share some of his most salient ideas, such as the following passage from the epilogue: […]

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Adult Children in Therapy

The subject of this blog post is a bit off topic because it has little to do with twins, per se. However, a recent session with a twin patient evoked thoughts that I feel are important to share. I am an avid proponent of psychotherapy, as you might presume. My own treatment shaped me in ways otherwise unimaginable. As a result, I avidly encouraged all five of my adult children to recognize its value and to seek help from an […]

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Is She Better or Different?

Competition is an expectable dynamic within most sibling relationships. This issue can be particularly troublesome for twin pairs because they are constantly compared and defined by their differing skills or personality traits. In my work with adult twins who have intense competitive feelings, I have learned how unresolved envy can cause havoc as siblings mature. The case of an identical twin woman in her sixties, whom I will call Terry, illustrates how her connection to her sister is undermined by […]

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