A mother of thirteen-year-old fraternal twin girls asked my advice about how to help the “cared for” twin develop more independence and self-confidence. The mother remarked that both she and her husband give one twin special attention because she appears insecure and clingy. To their surprise, I suggested that they devote more time and attention to the “caretaker twin” because she may not be getting what she needs in terms of parental emotional investment. Often, a child who is raised […]

As I discussed in my previous blog post, the physical confinement necessitated by the pandemic has elicited expectable behavioral and emotional challenges among children of all ages. I have received many calls about the effects of the quarantine on twins. It may seem paradoxical that twins who are accustomed to spending most of their time together might show signs of distress and fatigue. However, twins have some opportunities to enjoy separate time at school or other activities. Not getting this […]

In light of our “new normal,” most of us had to make considerable physical and emotional adjustments to our work and home life. In particular, couples who have children and are working from home had to come up with innovative strategies to cope with these overwhelming circumstances. I have spoken with many twin families who are witnessing their twins develop different ways of relating to one another since being quarantined. Twins are another kind of coupled relationship. Depending on their […]

A seventeen-year-old fraternal twin girl whom I will call Mia contacted me to talk about the challenges she and her sister may encounter when they attend separate colleges in the fall. She described her relationship with her sister as very close, sharing extracurricular activities, friends, and interests. They are the only children in the family. Last summer, they separated for the first time. Although Mia felt strange being without “her security blanket,” she related that it felt fantastic to be […]

As a twin who has devoted many decades of my psychotherapy practice to understanding the intricacies of the twin connection, I am sensitive to the challenges that arise when a twinship is permanently severed. Regardless of the age when death comes for one sibling, the survivor is left to deal with the overwhelming grief alone. Sometimes, the biggest challenge for surviving twins is constructing a revised version of their identity. In a sense, while grieving the death of their twin, […]