In light of our “new normal,” most of us had to make considerable physical and emotional adjustments to our work and home life. In particular, couples who have children and are working from home had to come up with innovative strategies to cope with these overwhelming circumstances. I have spoken with many twin families who are witnessing their twins develop different ways of relating to one another since being quarantined. Twins are another kind of coupled relationship. Depending on their […]

A seventeen-year-old fraternal twin girl whom I will call Mia contacted me to talk about the challenges she and her sister may encounter when they attend separate colleges in the fall. She described her relationship with her sister as very close, sharing extracurricular activities, friends, and interests. They are the only children in the family. Last summer, they separated for the first time. Although Mia felt strange being without “her security blanket,” she related that it felt fantastic to be […]

As a twin who has devoted many decades of my psychotherapy practice to understanding the intricacies of the twin connection, I am sensitive to the challenges that arise when a twinship is permanently severed. Regardless of the age when death comes for one sibling, the survivor is left to deal with the overwhelming grief alone. Sometimes, the biggest challenge for surviving twins is constructing a revised version of their identity. In a sense, while grieving the death of their twin, […]

When my children were young, we often read books from a series called the Berenstain Bears. The series included titles such as Too Much Birthday, Visit the Dentist, Trouble with Money, and Mama’s New Job. Each book addresses developmental challenges such as getting accustomed to a new baby, family and peer relationships, and the ethics of expectable social behaviors such as tantrums, name calling, and bullying. A recent session with an adult identical twin reminded me of a particular Berenstain […]

A parent of three-year-old fraternal twin boys recently asked me for advice about toilet training. She and her husband disagree about how this should be managed. Parents experience successful toilet training as an important developmental milestone, and rightfully so. The transition from diapers to toilet paper is a significant step toward autonomy. However, as with all developmental markers, we must treat each child according to his or her individual circumstances. As a psychotherapist, I disagreed with her husband’s desire to […]