I am delighted to tell you about a new book coming out in February—Parent like a Triplet, written by Norwegian identical triplet Kari Ertresvåg. I had the tremendous pleasure of writing the book’s foreword, which I want to share with you here. Foreword to Parent like a Triplet I consider myself Kari Ertresvåg’s partner in crime—the “crime” being our joint commitment to debunking the twin mystique and normalizing the experiences of multiples. We share a sisterhood of sorts as fellow […]
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The Quick Fix: A Simplistic Solution
A father of thirteen-year-old identical twin boys contacted me about one of his sons. He and his wife decided to send the boys to different middle schools to give them the individual experiences that both were lacking up to that point. However, after more than four months at their respective schools, one son was thriving while the other was not. Tom loved school, felt engaged and energized, and enthusiastically shared what he was learning when his parents picked him up […]
Coconstructing and Editing Stories
One of my patients gave me her copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I read it over the holiday break and found it engaging. I particularly related to two ideas that Gottlieb discussed: how to help patients “edit their stories” within the therapeutic milieu of dyadic coconstruction and how we psychotherapists can manage our personal upheavals to avoid inflicting them unwittingly on our patients. As Gottlieb pointed out, a patient’s presenting problem is sometimes just […]
Help the Teachers Out
Wherever I travel to talk with parents of twins, I hear the ever-present complaint about teachers who cannot distinguish one twin from thee another. In fact, when parents read the teacher’s notes about each sibling, many parents realize that the teacher has no idea who is who. Apparently, the reports do not reflect the skills or personality traits of the twin who is supposedly being described. Twins’ families have trouble understanding why their children’s distinctness is lost on so many […]
Defining Motherhood Your Way
When assessing a case of postpartum depression, I focus on the woman’s state of mind before, during, and after she gives birth. By talking with many new moms, I have found that the blues are attributable to disappointed expectations and overwhelming responsibilities related to childcare, work demands, partnership challenges, and household chores. A common feature of depressive episodes is a pervasive feeling of inadequacy. This can happen when we are adjusting to novel situations besides parenthood, such as going away […]