The young woman who wrote this essay chooses to remain anonymous. I deeply appreciate her willingness to share her emotional journey through a painful yet poignant separation from her identical twin sister. Then and Now: A Personal Essay on Coping with Twin Estrangement Long ago, my identical twin sister and I began to assume opposing posts. One donned blue, the other pink. One was a bookworm, the other seemed to educate herself out of her own inner brilliance. Yet we […]
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“I Don’t Know You”
Feeling embarrassed about one’s family members is not uncommon. In fact, at certain stages of development, this is expectable and acceptable. For example, many adolescents go through a period when they do not want to be seen with their parents or associated with them in any way. This is a rite of passage on the way to becoming separate and independent. Some individuals also feel embarrassed by their siblings sometimes, for many different reasons unique to their relationship and family […]
Why Didn’t She Get It?
I was three-quarters of the way through a presentation on twins to a group of psychotherapists when a woman in the audience raised her hand. Based on the information I had shared thus far, she said that she did not understand how a twin relationship was distinct from that between siblings who are close in age. As an example, she noted that siblings close in age may react similarly when the older sibling leaves for college, causing the younger sibling […]
What’s a Mother-in-Law to Do?
I recently attended the birthday celebration of a friend of mine who turned 85 years old. She is a vital, energetic, engaged woman who is a terrific role model for aging gracefully and graciously. This friend has developed a fascination about twins ever since we met about ten years ago. I call her the Twin Magnet because she seems to find and meet twins wherever she goes. In addition to the twins themselves, she has introduced me and my books […]
Twins and Bullying: How Prevalent Is It?
When I gave a presentation in Mexico a few months ago, I met a pair of well-mannered, bilingual twelve-year-old identical twin boys who attended with their mother. They explained that they were being bullied at their school and didn’t understand why. In previous years at the same school, both boys had many friends and felt comfortable and happy with their group of peers. I did not have adequate time to address their feelings, but I could empathize with the shame […]