Twins who grew up in the role of the caretaker often struggle to not repeat that behavior in other intimate relationships. Even when a twin successfully discards this role with her sibling, she may consciously or unconsciously duplicate this behavior with friends, other family members, and significant others. An adult twin woman in her thirties, whom I will call Cherie, continually gets herself in trouble by putting the needs of her friends first. She has tremendous difficulty saying no to […]
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Starving to Be Separate
My friend Leora Eisen, a world-renowned Canadian documentary filmmaker and an identical twin, sent me a CBC article by Bridget Yard titled “As Identical Twins, We Shared Everything. Except My Eating Disorder.” While I found the article very interesting, I believe that some key issues were not explored. I imagine that certain factors could not be explicated due to the very public nature of the publication. Nonetheless, I am presenting a reasonable hypothesis to speculate about deeper issues. While Bridget […]
Multiples Unmasking Medical Mysteries
International Multiple Birth Awareness Week will be celebrated November 5–12 in 2018. ICOMBO (the International Council of Multiple Birth Organisations) highlights a theme each year to promote awareness of the unique needs of infant, child, and adult multiples. This year, ICOMBO’s message focuses on the enormous contribution that research with multiples makes to the understanding of genetic and epigenetic conditions. I am pleased to be a member of ICOMBO and to support their ongoing agenda. When I first read about […]
“A Package Deal”
A few days ago, I read a blog post written by a mother of six-year-old identical twin girls. She was upset that her daughters were having difficulty managing separate relationships with some of their classmates. The girls had been in separate preschool classes, and the mother explained that this separation had worked out beautifully because one daughter had previously become too controlling and bossy. Since she felt that the girls had “individualized enough,” she put them back together for kindergarten […]
Q & A about Twins
Parents of twins often experience unique situations and are left with questions not usually addressed by parenting books or advice columns. Here are some questions I’ve been asked recently about raising multiples, as well as some advice for these sometimes difficult-to-navigate situations. Question: Shall I correct my two-and-a-half-year-old identical twin girls when they argue with me about who is who in a photo? Answer: Yes, I would definitely tell them that you feel differently. The confusion about who is who is […]