An acquaintance of mine who is the mother of identical ten-year-old daughters shared a lovely story about her girls’ first sleepover. Since her daughters were previously reluctant to do sleepovers, the mom was pleasantly surprised when both girls expressed a keen desire to sleep at their friend’s house. The mother mirrored their enthusiasm about embarking on a new experience. Nevertheless, she was well aware that one of the girls might not make it through the night. When bedtime came, the […]
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Twin Travails
High school–age twins frequently contact me via my website to request help with a project or paper about twin relationships. Most of them research issues or ideas that resonate with their developmental experiences. The other day, three female sixteen-year-olds—an identical twin pair and a fraternal twin—asked for my assistance with a presentation they were preparing for a school assembly. I suggested that they discuss some of the challenges that twins encounter growing up, since most people are incredulous to learn […]
R-e-s-p-e-c-t
Twins who grew up in the role of the caretaker often struggle to not repeat that behavior in other intimate relationships. Even when a twin successfully discards this role with her sibling, she may consciously or unconsciously duplicate this behavior with friends, other family members, and significant others. An adult twin woman in her thirties, whom I will call Cherie, continually gets herself in trouble by putting the needs of her friends first. She has tremendous difficulty saying no to […]
Starving to Be Separate
My friend Leora Eisen, a world-renowned Canadian documentary filmmaker and an identical twin, sent me a CBC article by Bridget Yard titled “As Identical Twins, We Shared Everything. Except My Eating Disorder.” While I found the article very interesting, I believe that some key issues were not explored. I imagine that certain factors could not be explicated due to the very public nature of the publication. Nonetheless, I am presenting a reasonable hypothesis to speculate about deeper issues. While Bridget […]
Multiples Unmasking Medical Mysteries
International Multiple Birth Awareness Week will be celebrated November 5–12 in 2018. ICOMBO (the International Council of Multiple Birth Organisations) highlights a theme each year to promote awareness of the unique needs of infant, child, and adult multiples. This year, ICOMBO’s message focuses on the enormous contribution that research with multiples makes to the understanding of genetic and epigenetic conditions. I am pleased to be a member of ICOMBO and to support their ongoing agenda. When I first read about […]