Why do people feel they have the right to publicly shame and embarrass twins? How are they so insensitive to the emotional harm they may inflict when they casually remark, “Oh, you are the fatter twin,” “You are the nicer twin,” “You are the prettier twin,” “You are the smarter twin,” “You are the sociable twin,” “You are the athletic twin,” “You have a smaller nose,” “Your eyes are further apart than your sister’s,” or “Your hairstyle is cuter”? I […]

Many people assume that all twins are spontaneously and energetically in tune with each other. They hear them completing each other’s sentences and witness synergetic nonverbal behaviors. While these actions occur frequently, especially between identical twins, they do not necessarily contribute to the development of empathic behavior in twin pairs. Usually, one twin exhibits more empathic capabilities than the other. More than likely, that twin’s emotional intelligence catapults her into the role of the caretaker twin. She is exquisitely attuned […]

Most of us seek guidance or advice when we feel stuck. We cannot see the forest for the trees, as the saying goes. We feel lost, and we need a pair of fresh eyes to help us find clarification and understanding. Such was the conundrum of parents of sixteen-year-old identical twin boys who sought my consultation. As is so often the case, these parents were surprised and appalled by their adolescent sons’ behaviors. One youngster resolutely refused to go to […]

Some twins track each other, both physically and emotionally. One set of twins put tracking devices on their cell phones in high school so that they would be certain of the other’s whereabouts. Other twins track their twin emotionally by demanding detailed accounts of their activities, friendships, and sometimes even food intake. This particular dynamic becomes increasingly complicated and cumbersome after one or both twins begin to develop intimate relationships outside of the twinship. When outside attachments threaten to relegate […]