“I think my daughters are struggling with a desperate need to separate but are also struggling with gaps in their own individual skill sets because of their twinship. Where one has a weakness, the other may be strong.” This quote is from a mom of identical twins in their early twenties. In my years of working with twins and their families, I have learned that this conundrum of feeling incomplete without one’s twin is a common and expectable emotional dilemma […]
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Commentary on the NPR Review of Three Identical Strangers
I was very moved by Ella Taylor’s review for NPR about a recently released documentary called Three Identical Strangers. While I have not yet viewed the movie, I have read about the three adopted men who were coincidentally reunited in their late teens by quirky acts of fate. The reunion of multiples separated at birth is an inevitable media sensation. When I mention that I am a psychotherapist who specializes in twin issues, nine times out of ten, people’s first […]
Making and Keeping Friends Outside the Twinship
Christina Baglivi Tinglof is a mother of fraternal twin boys and the author of My Twin Pregnancy Week by Week, Double Duty, and Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples. The following article, published on June 19, 2018, is reprinted with her permission from her blog, Talk About Twins. Why Is It So Hard for My Twins to Make Friends? Christina Baglivi Tinglof Question: My husband and I have 14-year-old fraternal twin boys. We meet regularly with other parents of twins to see if we are experiencing any […]
Suggestions for Alone Time
If organizing consistent alone time with each of your twins seems out of reach, here are a few suggestions that might help you carve out some precious one-on-one moments: Bring one baby in the car pool. Take one baby out for a walk in a single stroller. Take the babies separately to doctor appointments. Take the babies to the same toddler group on alternate days. Play alone with one baby at the park. Bathe the babies separately. Be attuned to […]
A Grandmother’s Twin Tale
When new acquaintances get over their surprise about my vocation as a twin therapist, they ask all sorts of questions and tell me interesting stories about twins. I particularly loved an interaction I had with a woman who has seven-year-old fraternal twin grandsons. She told me how upset she had been when her daughter-in-law and son decided to put the boys in separate kindergarten classes. While she wisely did not share her disapproval of this decision with the boys’ parents, […]