The keynote speaker at my son’s graduation ceremony emphasized principles that are currently trendy in business and psychology: the importance of failure and the courage to take risks. He asserted that essential emotional growth happens when we learn from failure and get out of our comfort zone. I thought about these principles as I listened to a mom of four-year-old fraternal twin daughters talk about her parenting challenges. Neither of the girls sleeps through the night. One, whom I’ll call […]
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Providing Clarity for Twins and Their Therapists
I am excited to announce that my new book, Twins in Session: Case Histories in Treating Twinship Issues, is scheduled for release on June 5, 2018. Much of the literature about twins either focuses on extreme emotional and relational abnormalities or perpetuates the stereotype of perfect synchronicity between twins. I wrote Twins in Session to share the stories of real twins who sought help for common, real-life twinship problems. I hope that these case studies will not only help other […]
One Step at a Time
Many parents of twins confront the daunting challenge of helping their children develop individual friendships. This is not usually an issue with boy-girl twins, vut same-sex twin pairs frequently have difficulties in this arena. A mom of ten-year-old identical twin girls recently shared a story with me that illustrates this challenge. Both girls have been in separate classrooms since kindergarten. One of the girls, Kaye, has more self-confidence than her sister, Clarissa. She is outgoing, independent, and easygoing. She attends […]
A Gang of Two
I recently had the pleasure of speaking to a diverse group of people interested in twin psychology—parents and grandparents of twins, children of adult twins, and twins themselves. I was especially intrigued by a situation shared by a mother of eight-year-old fraternal twin boys. She explained that she consulted a myriad of psychotherapists and behavioral specialists to seek help with her sons’ constant fighting and power struggles. She stated that she was very uncomfortable with conflict and had little success […]
Why Twins Prefer a Therapist Who is a Twin
Most twins who are looking for a therapist hope to find one who is a twin. It is important that nontwins and therapists understand why this is the case. Growing up as a twin is a very different experience than growing up as a singleton–whether you are an identical or a fraternal twin. The bottom line is that twins have grown up with their twin by their side for most of their life, for better or worse. The twin connection […]