Parents of multiples the world over have some similar concerns when it comes to raising their children—issues of identity, rivalry, competition, and comparison are all common. What is so strikingly interesting is how cultural differences affect the importance of these concerns. I have just returned from a two-week vacation in Chile. In Santiago, I had the pleasure of addressing an overflow audience of parents who came to listen to my presentations about parenting twins and the emotional challenges of adult […]
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The Wonders of Therapy
I met a former patient of mine one day for coffee. We had not seen one another since she graduated from college. Like many college graduates, Shelley, who is a twin, is looking for a job and feeling quite frustrated. She is fortunate to be able to live with her family while she is job hunting and making some money by waiting tables. The issues that Shelley and I worked on about three years ago are no longer bothering her. […]
All You Need Is Love
A mother wrote me and asked me to address a matter that coincidentally corresponds to a news story that has engendered passionate feelings and opinions. Married gay partners who fathered boy/girl twins with a surrogate split up and moved with their biological offspring to opposite coasts. The couple’s selfish intent to rob the twins of their connection seems unfathomable. The reader’s inquiry also involves a divorce. However, contrary to these men’s selfish motives, this mother is deeply concerned about doing […]
Beware Twin Denial
On the last day of a New Zealand Multiple Birth Association conference, I chaired a panel of adult twins who volunteered their time to answer questions posed by moms of younger twins. Many of the questions presented to the panel addressed issues about twins being compared, their individuality, and the importance of knowing who is older. It was interesting that the twins who introduced themselves all remarked if they were the older one! The panel members seemed to agree that […]
Tamba’s Individuality Factsheet
I am pleased to share this individuality factsheet from the Twins and Multiple Births Association (Tamba). The factsheet is a terrific guide chock-full of important reminders and tips about how we can enhance our multiples’ individual selves. I especially appreciate how it emphasizes the influence all of us can have on promoting individuality. As I have mentioned in previous posts, Tamba is an organization based in London that provides services and care for multiple-birth families throughout the United Kingdom. In […]