I was recently asked to write the foreword to the second anthology of Multiples Illuminated: Life with Twins and Triplets, the Toddler to Tween Years, which was just published. Once again the editors, Megan Woolsey and Alison Lee, have compiled a collection of beautifully written stories by parents of multiples. The essays are arranged developmentally and chronologically, each one highlighting recognizable familial situations and parenting predicaments. There is a comforting authenticity to the mixture of feelings expressed—anger, frustration, fear, disappointment, […]
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Enemy or Frenemy?
I asked an older adolescent twin patient the other day to tell me some of her thoughts about competition. She related the following: Oh, it’s horrible. The only good competition is the Olympics—those athletes train and train to be able to compete for one of the highest available honors. When I played softball in high school I had to think that the girls we played against were all bad; it’s silly to think about this now, but I had no […]
When the Bough Breaks
I realize I have written about this issue previously; however, each time this situation comes to my attention, I become terribly upset and feel as if I must educate others to take heed. A concerned mother of 15-year-old identical twins called me to ask for help regarding her daughters’ social woes and difficulties. She explained that they have no friends. Both girls feel as if they have made attempts to connect with their peers, but to no avail. When they […]
Don’t Kid Yourself—Are You Loyal, or Overaccommodating?
A few months ago I received an e-mail from a gentleman asking for marital advice. He had been married for four years to his wife, an identical twin. He described that his wife grew up in a terribly dysfunctional alcoholic family. She and her sister survived the ordeal by relying on one another. While I am not privy to many details, I have imagined or assumed what must have transpired to give rise to the marital difficulties. The husband described […]
When One Twin Is Held Back in School and How It Affects Their Emotional Well-Being
I’ll never forget being kept back in the fourth grade while my twin sister, Fay Louise, moved ahead. I’m sure it was the final proof I needed as a frail, indecisive child to convince me that I was inferior. For years, I believed I wasn’t as smart as my sister. I refused to give myself any credit for having been ill and kept back for that reason. I was “dumb” and I played that record over and over, a thousand […]