I was chatting with a mom of four-month-old boy/girl twins who had just returned to work full time. She tearfully related that going back to work has not been what she had originally envisioned. She had hoped that she would be able to go home at lunchtime and see the babies; however, that has not been a feasible option. She feels somewhat relieved that her mom, who has helped take care of the twins since they were born, is living […]
Blog
Boys Will Be Boys
By mere coincidence, I struck up a conversation with a lovely gentleman in his early 60s who happens to be an identical twin. Of course, I was curious to learn about his experiences, and he graciously shared his twin story with me. The gentleman explained that he and his brother were the eldest of five children. He marveled at his mother’s ability to take care of five children under the age of five all by herself. The children were raised […]
All You Need Is Love
The issue I have been asked to address coincidentally corresponds to a recent news story that has engendered passionate feelings and opinions. Married gay partners who fathered boy/girl twins with a surrogate split up and moved with their biological offspring to opposite coasts. The couple’s selfish intent to rob the twins of their connection seems unfathomable. Our reader’s inquiry also involves a divorce. However, contrary to these men’s selfish motives, this mother is deeply concerned about doing what is in […]
The Wonders of Therapy
I met a former patient of mine the other day for coffee. We had not seen one another since she graduated from college a few months ago. Like many college graduates, Shelley, who is a twin, is looking for a job and feeling quite frustrated. She is fortunate to be able to live with her family while she is job hunting and making some money by waiting tables. The issues that Shelley and I worked on about three years ago […]
Can Divorce Be Amicable for Twins?
Recently, I presented some material from my research findings about adult twin relationships. I discussed why it is so challenging for some twins to develop a cohesive self. I referenced Dr. Barbara Klein’s book Alone in the Mirror. She feels that since twins are in a metaphorical sense born married, they can never get a divorce. Dr. Klein substantiates her point of view by highlighting how twins remain loyally connected to one another in the face of enormous guilt, resentment, […]