For most children in our Western societies, the goal of adolescence is to become more independent from their parents. In his terrific book on adolescent development, Dr. Anthony Wolf writes that adolescence is not a single event but a number of changes happening within a relatively short period. The two main forces of adolescence are the onset of sexuality and the turning away from parents. Young teens turn away from their childish feelings. They cannot feel close to or dependent […]
Category Archives: Adolescence
Find Your Comfort Zone and Leave It
I was listening to an NPR piece called “Wisdom From YA Authors on Leaving Home: Neal Shusterman” on Weekend Edition Saturday for August 27. Mr. Shusterman reminisced about his troubled adolescence adjusting to life in a new country. He related that overcoming depression and loneliness was instrumental in the future adaptations he had to make throughout the course of his life. His advice was “find your comfort zone and leave it.” This radio piece resonated with me professionally and personally. […]
Love Me, Love Me Not
A mother of 15-year-old fraternal twin girls came to see me because she was concerned that the verbal and physical fighting between her daughters had escalated to a frightening degree. She told me that Elsa and Avery have always been close. She described Elsa as the easygoing twin who has habitually complied with and tolerated the overbearing behavior of her sister, Avery. But the girls’ attitudes and roles have shifted within the last few months. Avery has become increasingly […]
Suggestions for Alone Time
If organizing consistent alone time with each of your twins seems out of reach, here are a few suggestions that might help you carve out some precious one-on-one moments: Bring one baby in the car pool. Take one baby out for a walk in a single stroller. Take the babies separately to doctor appointments. Take the babies to the same toddler group on alternate days. Play alone with one baby at the park. Bathe the babies separately. Be attuned to […]
Like an Old Married Couple
A mom of 16-year-old identical twin boys contacted me to talk about how to handle excessive bickering between her sons. She described how she has tried to manage the incessant teasing and fighting that goes on between the two of them. One will accuse the other of dressing like a geek, having a stupid sense of humor, or acting like a dork at school. The dominant twin is more likely than not to be leveling these insults at his reticent […]