Twins often find it difficult to appreciate their own successes. Since so many of their accomplishments are evaluated in relation to their twin, many twins find it challenging to absorb a singular success. It has been a habitual practice to evaluate a twin’s status by comparing what one twin has or doesn’t have–or did or did not do–with that of the other twin. Singletons are accustomed to being compared with others, and consequently they learn how to integrate their successes […]
Category Archives: Competition
Twins and Altruism
Recently, I commented about a pair of 21-year-old identical twin female tennis players qualifying for the first time at Wimbledon. Sadly, the twin who advanced to the next round could not fully celebrate the biggest win of her career because her twin sister had lost her match. If you are not a twin, you may find it hard to understand why the victorious twin had to downplay and deflect her success. Let me share Jeffrey Kluger’s definition of altruism from […]
Being Appreciated for Being Me
Every year when I read about the Twinsburg Twins Days Festival or see photographs of grown-up twins who are dressed identically and unabashedly clowning around with their clone, I feel a visceral trigger of old feelings about growing up as a twin freak. Jane and I were always the source of endless curiosity, and I hated (and still hate) being the center of attention without a feeling of substance or worth. Unfortunately, I have never really experienced the joys of […]
A Shared Friendship
The other day, I was thinking about how different my 24-year-old sons, Jonny and David, are in terms of their personalities, interests, and personal strengths. Now, as young adults, they are living on different coasts and working in diametrically opposed professions. Of course, both of them still keep in touch with their close friends from high school. However, Neil is one particular friend that Jonny and David both enjoy being with, either separately or together. Our entire family also adores […]