Among the many interesting questions that were asked during my workshop and book presentation in Guatemala, there are a few that I’d like to write about in some detail. A mom of eight-year-old fraternal twin girls seemed puzzled by some behavior exhibited by her daughters. She explained how well each girl functions independently. They are in separate classes and have separate friends. So, when mom suggested that they each do a different afterschool activity, she was surprised by their reluctance […]
Category Archives: Independence
Without You, Who Am I?
Recently I have been troubled by the many calls I have received from twins having difficulty coping without their sibling. A while ago, a young man in his early thirties shared his twin dilemma. He poignantly related that he does not miss his brother in a physical sense because he lives just a few hours away; rather, he misses the way he feels about himself when his brother is around—calm, secure, and confident. This pair of identical twin men had […]
Flying Solo
I have had the privilege of helping a middle-aged twin woman (whom I shall refer to as M) reclaim her self following the sudden loss of her twin brother. When her brother died unexpectedly, her world fell apart. Both twins had been heavily emotionally dependent upon one another in a myriad of complex and complicated ways. At two years of age, their father took M and her brother away from their biological mother because she was too mentally unstable to […]
An Embarrassment of Riches
In the last few weeks, countless media outlets have reported on the increase in twin births. The latest CDC 2014 data reveals that 33.9 out of every 1,000 births resulted in twins. While 135,336 twins were born in 2014 compared with 138,961 born in 2007, a record percentage of twin births occurred. This statistic is substantiated by the fact that in 2007 only 32.2 per 1,000 births were twin births that year, reflecting that rates for 2014 were actually higher. […]
I Need to Be Right
I have been doing conjoint therapy sessions with various pairs of twins and have been intrigued by the dynamic whereby one twin is hyperfocused on needing to be “right.” One twin in particular demonstrates a persistent urge to feel superior. In fact, one young woman became very upset with me when I responded with understanding and validation to her sister’s perception about an incident. She explained how my supporting her sister’s subjectivity implied that I believed she was wrong or […]