“Women cannot afford the luxury of unambivalent love for their husbands. . . . When couples quarrel it is over the giving and receiving of gratitude.” These sentences, originally written by Arlie Russell Hochschild in her book, The Second Shift: Working Parents and the Revolution at Home, and quoted in Jennifer Senior’s book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, caught my attention and piqued my curiosity. I am an adamant “ambivalence” advocate and have written repeatedly […]
Category Archives: Mental Health
Maintaining Good Mental Health in Teens Leaving Home for College
An article about mental health and college students appeared in the Wall Street Journal a few months ago, just in time for the newly admitted group of college freshman and their parents to address the expected challenges encountered after children leave home. While most teens appear exhilarated about entering this new life phase, many also feel the anxiety and uncertainty that accompanies change. As reported in the article, the statistics for the treatment of anxiety and depression for college-age youngsters […]
Pathological Accommodation
When I first read about a psychological process called pathological accommodation during my psychoanalytic training, I was struck by how it might also be useful in understanding some aspects of twin relationships. The concept originated out of the work of psychoanalyst Dr. Bernard Brandchaft. Dr. Shelley Doctors, another prominent psychoanalyst, describes how to understand this dynamic in terms of the mother-infant dyad: A person, likely from infancy onward, learns essentially to erase him- or herself in order to have a […]
The Czech Quintuplets
I recently watched a film produced by the Czech department of social services about the birth of quintuplets to a twenty-year-old woman and her husband. Czech family-planning policy allows supplemental help from the state for one child. Since this couple already had a four-year-old son, the family would normally be excluded from any state benefits. This is the only case of quintuplets in the Czech Republic, and many people became involved to help the family care for these five children. […]
Pedagogy Or Pathology?
Following my radio interview on KQED, in San Francisco, a listener wrote an e-mail chastising me for propagating unnecessarily negative views about twin development. Moreover, my colleague Dr. Nancy Segal also expressed a similar viewpoint by stating that statistics show that twins are no more at risk for mental health issues than anyone else in the population. She, too, seemed uncomfortable about my desire to highlight adult twin challenges. While I am well aware that most twin relationships are healthy […]