Sometimes my therapeutic endeavors are not successful. The following scenario is an example. A mom of identical twin men in their early thirties contacted me for help. Her sons were working to start a business together but were unable to stop fighting and screaming at one another. This was not the first time they had found themselves in the exact same situation. A few years prior, they shared a business that eventually failed due to pandemic-related circumstances. Nonetheless, even then, […]

I recently explained to my four-year-old grandson why my car had stalled a few times. He is fascinated with cars and trucks. I told him that the tow truck technician said that another mechanism in my car was probably draining power from the battery, which otherwise appeared to be in good condition. This is an excellent metaphor for how one twin monopolizes the energy in a twinship and leaves the other feeling powerless and defeated. I have worked many years […]

Many twins feel that anger toward their sibling seems wrong, regardless of whether they have legitimate reasons for such an emotion. Their close twin bond inherently leaves little room to vent disappointment or frustration. In my experience, both younger and older twin pairs struggle with this tension. They frequently speak about the injustices they have endured at the hands of their twin; nonetheless, the idea of sharing their anger with their sibling is met with resistance and fear. Most worry […]

Recently I have been thinking about the issue of twins and compromise because the subject has come up in a few of my patient sessions. Certainly I have learned about my own compromising behaviors as a twin and as an adult in my personal therapy. I recognized that my overriding inclination to compromise too quickly was rooted in my twinship, as well as in the dynamics of my family of origin. Growing up, my twin sister and I attempted to […]

I recently had a lovely conversation with the mom of seven-year-old identical twin girls. She and her husband are making an effort to schedule alone time. They have been reluctant to incorporate this into their routine, worrying that they would be overwhelmed and unable to manage their time. However, both she and her husband have expressed surprise at how easy arranging alone time has been. One twin is attending a dance class, and the other is involved in a sport. […]