I feel compelled to write because I am outraged and saddened—but not surprised—by society’s misguided beliefs about the twin mystique. A recent experience recounted by an acquaintance of mine has aroused my discontent. A conscientious and psychologically sophisticated mom of four-year-old twins decided to place her fraternal twin daughters in separate classrooms. The girls shared a classroom for the first year of preschool, and both the mother and the teachers agreed that the girls would thrive in separate classes the […]

My psychotherapy practice with adult twins bears out the research that indicates female identical twins form the most intimate attachments. As a result, a rupture in their connection is usually traumatic for one or both of them. I have counseled an identical twin woman in her forties, whom I will call Bertha, for almost two years. At this point in time, she and her sister have been estranged for more than ten years. After finding that other therapists could not […]

I am so grateful that I could remain engaged with patients who have grown and changed considerably during this period of confinement. These individuals live either alone or with their significant other. The physical and emotional separation resulting from self-isolation has led to positive disruptions in their habitual, taken-for-granted interactions with loved ones. I want to share the story of one client whom I shall call Cherise. She is a woman in her midsixties and the mother of two young-adult […]

Competition among siblings is integral to most families. Our natural instinct is to survive and thrive. Many twin pairs, however, have a different experience with sibling rivalry and competitiveness because of their intimate relationship. While twins fight just as much—or possibly more—than nontwin siblings, their feelings about surpassing or outdoing their twin can be conflicting and confusing. More often than not, identical twins that compete in the same sport are wholly supportive of and noncompetitive with their sibling. Often they […]

Most of us are currently searching for positive aspects of social isolation. If one or both parents are working from home, they may have unexpected opportunities to spend individual time with each twin. Of course, each household has different needs. Nonetheless, let’s brainstorm some creative possibilities that might suit your family: Organize separate times to read/dance/cook/draw with each twin. Bathe the twins separately. Change up the bedtime routine by having each parent handle one twin. Plan separate walks with each […]