Speaking to a lovely group of twin moms, I was struck by a dilemma plaguing one of the mothers. She related that, contrary to her own personal beliefs, her husband is passionately opposed to the idea that it is healthier for twins to be differentiated. He believes their six-year-old fraternal sons should wear the exact same clothes, and he does not see the value of spending alone time with each boy. He feels that the twin connection is sacred and […]

What if my twin falls apart and I am not there to pick up the pieces? What if my twin never gets married? What if my twin cannot forgive me for moving away? What if my twin decides to quit running the business with me? Many of my patients tend to be trapped by catastrophic thinking, which involves ruminating about irrational, worst-case scenarios that will result in disaster. Sometimes, persistent negative thoughts stem from old beliefs and core values. Helping […]

I recently posted an article on Facebook about the social media backlash directed at a father because of his decision to spend time alone with each of his four-year-old twins. Apparently, many people accused him of inciting separation anxiety if he implemented this plan. Nonetheless, he offered valid and legitimate arguments for his intentions. He explained that before he and his husband decided to have twins, they spoke to many adult twins and asked about their experiences. He reported that […]

I am delighted to tell you about a new book coming out in February—Parent like a Triplet, written by Norwegian identical triplet Kari Ertresvåg. I had the tremendous pleasure of writing the book’s foreword, which I want to share with you here. Foreword to Parent like a Triplet I consider myself Kari Ertresvåg’s partner in crime—the “crime” being our joint commitment to debunking the twin mystique and normalizing the experiences of multiples. We share a sisterhood of sorts as fellow […]

One of my patients gave me her copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I read it over the holiday break and found it engaging. I particularly related to two ideas that Gottlieb discussed: how to help patients “edit their stories” within the therapeutic milieu of dyadic coconstruction and how we psychotherapists can manage our personal upheavals to avoid inflicting them unwittingly on our patients. As Gottlieb pointed out, a patient’s presenting problem is sometimes just […]