I am delighted to tell you about a new book coming out in February—Parent like a Triplet, written by Norwegian identical triplet Kari Ertresvåg. I had the tremendous pleasure of writing the book’s foreword, which I want to share with you here. Foreword to Parent like a Triplet I consider myself Kari Ertresvåg’s partner in crime—the “crime” being our joint commitment to debunking the twin mystique and normalizing the experiences of multiples. We share a sisterhood of sorts as fellow […]

One of my patients gave me her copy of Lori Gottlieb’s book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. I read it over the holiday break and found it engaging. I particularly related to two ideas that Gottlieb discussed: how to help patients “edit their stories” within the therapeutic milieu of dyadic coconstruction and how we psychotherapists can manage our personal upheavals to avoid inflicting them unwittingly on our patients. As Gottlieb pointed out, a patient’s presenting problem is sometimes just […]

Wherever I travel to talk with parents of twins, I hear the ever-present complaint about teachers who cannot distinguish one twin from thee another. In fact, when parents read the teacher’s notes about each sibling, many parents realize that the teacher has no idea who is who. Apparently, the reports do not reflect the skills or personality traits of the twin who is supposedly being described. Twins’ families have trouble understanding why their children’s distinctness is lost on so many […]

Having two same-age children makes relating to each one individually a challenge. Of course, that is the vital task for parents raising twins. We may be naturally inclined to identify more with one twin than the other because they are very different children. At times, we might identify with the one who is more like us or perhaps with the one who is less like us. Whichever is the case, being aware of our predilections is important so we can […]

Parents, relatives, friends, and teachers all marvel at the empathic connection that many twin pairs exhibit. Even though they do fight and have intense moments of sibling rivalry, they often instantly rebound from conflict and turmoil by themselves. Play is resumed as if nothing happened. Their “twin synergy” enables the pairs to stay connected and engaged, ready to resume their regulating reciprocity. However, as twins get older, their families begin to discern some changes in this seamless overaccommodating behavior. While […]