My twin patient “Linda” described going through a very rough patch with her significant other. While she was able to be supportive of him, Linda was flooded with intrusive thoughts about how gleeful her twin sister would be if her partner suffered a tremendous loss. She felt terrifying guilt about having such “evil” thoughts about her sister. She did not understand where they were coming from and was worried that I must think she is a terrible, sick person. After […]

Mothers taking care of their infants delight in the reciprocal feedback that occurs between the two of them. The sleepless nights, the feeling of being out of control and overwhelmed, and the loss of predictability and consistency in one’s life can be beautifully modulated by the capacity to soothe the baby and see the signs and signals of recognition for all that hard work—the beautiful smile that the baby beams to his mother when they are together. I think about […]

People often ask me if I have specialized in the treatment of twins my entire career. The answer is no. While I always had a need to understand how my twinship experience shaped my developmental experiences, this emphasis was more personal than professional in the beginning years of my psychotherapy practice. However, after my fraternal twin sons were born and I became a mother of twins, my psychological understanding of twin attachment deepened. My focus on twin pregnancy, twin births, […]

Sadly, despite monumental parental efforts, one twin may give up vying for recognition. I have seen this dynamic occur more frequently in fraternal twin pairs. Unlike identical twins, who appear more evenly matched in skills, talents, and preferences, fraternal twins are more like singleton siblings who happen to be born at the same time. Sharing only 50 percent of their DNA, they can differ significantly in terms of temperament, looks, abilities, and drive. Frequently when parents tell me about noteworthy […]

An identical twin woman in her late thirties (“Rory”) found me via ChatGPT! It is the first time I have received a referral via AI. I am so glad that we connected because her twin narrative was compelling and enlightening. Rory needed guidance and perspective about her twin’s ongoing hostile and abusive behavior. Rory shared that her twin sister (“Ryder”) repeatedly badmouthed her to friends and family. The family dismissed this behavior—“Oh you know, angry, mean Ryder”—and advised Rory to […]