Some twins track each other, both physically and emotionally. One set of twins put tracking devices on their cell phones in high school so that they would be certain of the other’s whereabouts. Other twins track their twin emotionally by demanding detailed accounts of their activities, friendships, and sometimes even food intake. This particular dynamic becomes increasingly complicated and cumbersome after one or both twins begin to develop intimate relationships outside of the twinship. When outside attachments threaten to relegate […]

Dominica is a lesser known island in the Caribbean. Its neighbors, Guadalupe and Martinique, are well recognized vacation destinations. When a woman in Dominica who was organizing a first-time twins festival contacted me almost a year ago, I was intrigued. I have just returned from a whirlwind week of twin-related activities—dinners, a jazz festival, a karaoke night, and most importantly, an educational symposium. The Dominican people are very warm and welcoming, and the island’s natural beauty is reflected in its […]

A young adult female identical twin, “S,” struggles with her girlfriend relationships. Although she has many close friendships, her longing to be the “one and only” best friend consumes her. While she has an intellectual understanding about this issue being inextricably linked to her twinship, emotionally she gets stymied. She is constantly bothered, upset, and perhaps a bit obsessed by her girlfriends’ other intimate connections. The idea that she cannot be number one makes her feel devalued, unimportant, and unloved. […]

Throughout our lives it is meaningful to have others who believe in us. Attuned and loving parents habitually play this role as their child develops and matures. Other mentors may present themselves in the role of teacher, coach, grandparent, psychotherapist, or caretaker—each capable of playing a vital function in a child’s growth. Some twin pairs will not have this experience. If the parents have not worked at making an attachment to each sibling rather than to the pair, the twins […]

The following two paragraphs are paraphrased portions of a session that I had with an adolescent identical twin who lives overseas. Her feelings and experiences typify developmental concerns and feelings about teenage twinships. “I am afraid to tell my sister to leave me alone. She’ll be mad at me. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Her being away last summer was so fantastic. I did not have her looking over my shoulder, invading and intruding upon me and my […]