My identical twin sister and I frequently reminisce about our worst fight. Although we both remember the incident with slightly divergent perspectives, the upshot of the argument was that my sister ended up with a few broken fingers after I pushed her and she fell down onto the pavement. I believe we were about seven years old at the time. When parents seem surprised and dismayed about their twins’ incessant bickering, I wonder if they are under the spell of […]
Tag Archives: emotion
Powering Down the Power of Two
Raising two or more children at a time is a tough gig, especially if they are your first children. Parenting is an acquired skill—the more you do it, the more confident you feel making decisions and choices. Learning how to manage multiples’ needs and behaviors can be a trying situation, especially if you are uncomfortable or unaccustomed to setting limits and being consistent. Recently, I spoke to a mom of three-year-old twins who was on the verge of emotional collapse. […]
Twins Sharing Friends
A mom in the audience at the Multiple Births Canada Conference asked me my thoughts about her eight-year-old identical twin daughters sharing a friend. She related that this triadic relationship has been strong for a number of years. The mother’s efforts to arrange separate play dates for each girl have yielded minimal results. Another mom of six-year-old identical twin girls describes similar circumstances. She contends that her daughters have made friends with one powerful girl who directs their play. Both […]
If She Cries, I Cry
I am always moved to tears when I witness adult twins who can empathize so intensely with each other. They can be in the middle of a contentious interaction when one of them suddenly becomes teary-eyed and upset. Instantaneously, the conflict recedes and empathic resonance sets in. No words are spoken; a nonverbal behavioral change records the vulnerability and redirects the emotionality. Perhaps this intrinsic fine-tuning is the adult version of childhood twin behavior—fighting like cats and dogs over everything […]
Singletons Can Search for a Twin
I talked with a friend of mine the other day about twins and their proclivity to unconsciously replicate relationships that mimic their twin connection. My acquaintance shared an anecdote about her singleton friend who discovered that she had created and reenacted a significant twin-like attachment throughout her lengthy married life. The story involves a woman who married at a young age, devoted to supporting her husband financially and professionally. When their children were in college, the wife decided to resume […]