In the last few months, I have been working with two grieving families. In both instances, a fraternal twin died owing to accidental circumstances—a drug overdose and an automobile collision. The man was in his late thirties and the young woman in her late twenties. While my heart goes out to those who have lost a loved one, I am inclined to be most concerned about the surviving twins and their well-being. In both cases, the surviving twin was the […]
Tag Archives: empathy
Stop and Smell the Roses
I recently came across this quote that resonated with the blog that I wrote last month about parents of twins feeling overwhelmed times two. Psychoanalyst Dr. Steven Mitchell, on p. 147 of his book Hope and Dread in Psychoanalysis (Basic Books, 1993), wrote these words: When my older daughter was about two or so, I remember my excitement at the prospect of taking walks with her, given her new ambulatory skills and her intense interest in being outdoors. However, I […]
All Parents Make Mistakes
Christina Baglivi Tinglof is a mother of fraternal twin sons and an accomplished author of two books on the subject—Double Duty and Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples. She wrote a terrific blog on June 3, 2016, that she is permitting me to share with my readers. It touches upon the parenting mishaps that we all make because we are unaware and unsure about what to do in certain circumstances. Young Twins Who Hit and Bite: Are We To Blame? […]
One Twin’s Opinion
The following provocative essay was written by Maranda Elizabeth, who is an identical twin. It was originally published on a site called The Establishment on January 19, 2016. It is reprinted here with the author’s permission. The Complexities of Being a Twin Maranda Elizabeth What is it like to be a twin? When, shortly before dying, Elspeth is asked this in the book Her Fearful Symmetry, she responds, “All I can say is, you haven’t got a twin, […]
Empathy or Enmeshment?
A friend of mine who is the mother of six-year-old twins shared a lovely story about one of her daughters. Her daughter’s first-grade class had a lesson about pollution, and her daughter wrote a few sentences about how she felt so sorry that fish have to swim in dirty water. Her daughter’s teacher told my friend that she has never encountered such an empathic response from such a young child. Having been raised in such close proximity—emotionally and physically—to their […]