The documentary Three Identical Strangers reveals the story behind the uncanny, mystical reunion of nineteen-year-old identical male triplets who had been separated at birth. The details of the boys’ adoptions are horrific—the boys and their adoptive parents were deliberately uninformed about the boys’ siblings, and the adoption agency collusively conducted a secret experiment on nature versus nurture variables using adoptees. Dr. Peter Neubauer, a prominent child psychoanalyst at the time and the head of this experiment, was a proponent of […]
Tag Archives: multiples
Commentary on the NPR Review of Three Identical Strangers
I was very moved by Ella Taylor’s review for NPR about a recently released documentary called Three Identical Strangers. While I have not yet viewed the movie, I have read about the three adopted men who were coincidentally reunited in their late teens by quirky acts of fate. The reunion of multiples separated at birth is an inevitable media sensation. When I mention that I am a psychotherapist who specializes in twin issues, nine times out of ten, people’s first […]
Mind the Emotional Gap
A high school senior contacted me a few weeks ago to ask my opinion on separating twins in primary school. She is a fraternal twin, and she and her sister live in the Northeastern United States. I will call her Nancy to protect her identity. At the beginning of our conversation, she asked me very broad, open-ended questions about separating twins. I clarified that it was unrealistic to address her concerns in such a generalized manner, as I certainly could […]
Why It’s So Difficult to Just Say No
A few weeks ago, I and a number of other consultants were asked to help a couple with three-year-old fraternal twin boys determine why the boys have not learned how to fall asleep on their own. Both the mom and the dad felt exhausted, frustrated, and defeated. Their innumerable unsuccessful attempts to put the boys to bed in their own room and to have them sleep through the night left the parents feeling helpless and overwhelmed. Both the mom and […]
The Second Book in the Multiples Illuminated Series Offers More Unique Stories from Parents of Twins and Triplets
I was recently asked to write the foreword to the second anthology of Multiples Illuminated: Life with Twins and Triplets, the Toddler to Tween Years, which was just published. Once again the editors, Megan Woolsey and Alison Lee, have compiled a collection of beautifully written stories by parents of multiples. The essays are arranged developmentally and chronologically, each one highlighting recognizable familial situations and parenting predicaments. There is a comforting authenticity to the mixture of feelings expressed—anger, frustration, fear, disappointment, […]