Competition among siblings is integral to most families. Our natural instinct is to survive and thrive. Many twin pairs, however, have a different experience with sibling rivalry and competitiveness because of their intimate relationship. While twins fight just as much—or possibly more—than nontwin siblings, their feelings about surpassing or outdoing their twin can be conflicting and confusing. More often than not, identical twins that compete in the same sport are wholly supportive of and noncompetitive with their sibling. Often they […]
Tag Archives: parenting
The Caretaker Twin: She Needs You Too
A mother of thirteen-year-old fraternal twin girls asked my advice about how to help the “cared for” twin develop more independence and self-confidence. The mother remarked that both she and her husband give one twin special attention because she appears insecure and clingy. To their surprise, I suggested that they devote more time and attention to the “caretaker twin” because she may not be getting what she needs in terms of parental emotional investment. Often, a child who is raised […]
Viva la Diferencia: Not in Cuba!
I was so very fortunate to have an informal talk with Dr. Beatriz Marcheco-Teruel when I visited Havana last month. Dr. Marcheco-Teruel established and directs the Cuban Twin Registry. She described how she trained workers to do outreach in many Cuban provinces to record twin births and to determine zygosity, birthing practices, and birth order. She told me that the majority of twin births in Cuba occur naturally as opposed to by cesarean section. She also mentioned that it would […]
Limelight, Love, and Singularity
A father of twins raised a poignant dilemma during one of my recent presentations. He feels terribly uncomfortable praising one twin for his special talent and not being able to do the same for his other son. Specifically, he is uncomfortable complimenting one son’s musical skills because his brother does not demonstrate the same proficiency. He feels guilty and unclear about treating each one differently. That this dad equates praising one son as diminishing the other illustrates how much this […]
Aussie Parenting Advice
I recently read an article on the Internet about triplet families from Australia, and it referenced a book titled Twins: A Practical Guide to Parenting Multiples from Conception to Preschool by Katrina Bowman and Louise Ryan. The book was initially published in 2002, and a revised edition came out in 2014. The latter edition has a new section dedicated solely to triplets. Immediately I ordered a copy and read it. The book is easy to read and organized from conception […]