I have been thinking about the connection between guilt and anger in twin relationships. A young woman I work with feels tremendous compassion and love for her twin sister. She also has unbearable feelings of guilt about her sister’s difficulties that, in her mind, make it impossible for her to feel separate and fulfilled. My patient worries that her sister’s tendencies toward depression and self-loathing will deepen if she moves away from her sister—either emotionally or physically. Reflecting on the […]
Tag Archives: relationships
“A Package Deal”
A few days ago I read a blog post written by a mother of six-year-old identical twin girls. She was upset that her daughters were having difficulty managing separate relationships with some of their classmates. The girls had been in separate preschool classes, and the mother explained that this separation had worked out beautifully because one daughter had previously become too controlling and bossy. Since she felt that the girls had “individualized enough,” she put them back together for kindergarten […]
Q & A about Twins
Parents of twins often experience unique situations and are left with questions not usually addressed by parenting books or advice columns. Here are some questions I’ve been asked recently about raising multiples, as well as some advice for these sometimes difficult-to-navigate situations. Question: Shall I correct my two-and-a-half-year-old identical twin girls when they argue with me about who is who in a photo? Answer: Yes, I would definitely tell them that you feel differently. The confusion about who is […]
Best Friends . . . Bah, Humbug!
News about the healthy birth of monoamniotic (sharing the same amniotic sac) twin girls in Ohio in May went viral for a number of reasons. First, these births are rare (one in every 10,000 births) and often pose significant health risks to the unborn twins. The fetuses share a placenta and an amniotic sac but have separate umbilical cords. If unmonitored, strangulation might happen. Naturally everyone was relieved and pleased about the positive outcome. However, most people seemed to be […]
Twinfest! A Celebration of Twin Togetherness
Since there are very few gatherings of adult twins, in my presentations, I customarily speak to parents of multiples. So, it was quite a pleasure and an honor to talk to an audience of adult twins who had gathered at the University of Washington to celebrate TwinFest!—the first annual celebration for twins who participate in the university’s Twin Registry. I spoke about my research, my philosophy, and my own experiences of being a twin. I shared how my twin sister, […]