I must keep reminding myself that most people are, understandably, unfamiliar with emotionally laden twin dynamics. For obvious reasons, one would not know or be interested in these relationships unless he or she were a twin, were parenting twins, or were counseling twins. What seems obvious to me often results in an aha moment for those unfamiliar with the psychology of twins. I was telling my colleague about a twin patient of mine who struggles mightily with the challenge of defining […]
Tag Archives: relationships
The Psychology of Twins—Who Knew?
I have just returned from a glorious two-week stay in Argentina. I will need to “detox” from all the delicious meat and fabuous red wine that I happily consumed during my time there. I gave a presentation to a wonderfully warm and engaging group of parents of multiples who appreciated hearing my particular views and philosophy about raising twins. Prior to my trip, I encountered incredulous responses to my telling people that I had been invited to give a presentation about […]
What Did You Ever Do for Me?
I work with a pair of identical twin women whose individual temperaments are as diverse as night and day. One of the twins, Sue, is a school nurse, and the other, Ellen, crunches numbers at a food warehouse business. Much of the focus of our work has been articulating the differences in the way they think, feel, and approach life. At times, Sue becomes frustrated when she expresses her needs and feelings because Ellen has difficulty grasping abstract concepts such […]
Adolescence and Multiples: Steering Our Selfish and Sassy Teens to Selfhood
For most children in our Western societies, the goal of adolescence is to become more independent from their parents. In his terrific book on adolescent development, Dr. Anthony Wolf writes that adolescence is not a single event but a number of changes happening within a relatively short period. The two main forces of adolescence are the onset of sexuality and the turning away from parents. Young teens turn away from their childish feelings. They cannot feel close to or dependent […]
Thoughts about Dr. Phil’s Program “Identical Twins Starving to Death: Who’s to Blame?”
Recently, Dr. Phil featured a program about sixteen-year-old twins, Taylor and Tricia, who both have an eating disorder. It was tragic to witness how these girls’ lives have been swallowed up in an anorexic bulimic vortex. The visual images of their binging and purging behavior were graphically stunning. While we certainly cannot know all of the circumstances that contributed to the girls’ eating disorder, the producers of this program focused on the parents’ divorce, the mother’s boyfriend, and the father’s […]