If organizing consistent alone time with each of your twins seems out of reach, here are a few suggestions that might help you carve out some precious one-on-one moments: Bring one baby in the car pool. Take one baby out for a walk in a single stroller. Take the babies separately to doctor appointments. Take the babies to the same toddler group on alternate days. Play alone with one baby at the park. Bathe the babies separately. Be attuned to […]
Tag Archives: separation
Societal Backlash Against Demystifiying the Twin Mystique
A few weeks ago I spoke about parenting twins to a small staff of speech and language pathologists who treat children at a private clinic. In thinking about their client population, most of the staff had treated only one twin, not both. I marveled that perhaps each twin had a separate experience that afforded her/him a respite from being identified solely as a twin. One staff member asked me if I felt that parenting awareness about twin challenges has changed […]
Twinsburg Revisited
Every day I open my Google Alerts to read the latest news stories that relate to twins. The usual fare includes movie stars giving birth to twins; stories about conjoined twins; tragic circumstances surrounding the birth and death of twin pairs; and, during baseball season, a plethora of stories about the Minnesota Twins baseball team. When I read through the offerings the other day, I was delighted to discover a fantastic piece written by identical twin men who made their […]
A Mirror or a Shield?
The other day I was speaking with a female twin in her midtwenties about her high-school experience. She told me that she enjoyed those years so much because her twin sister shielded her from feeling overwhelmed, intruded upon, and overexposed. This surprised me because she had always talked extensively about her sister being her “mirror”—needing to get continual validation from her twin about her clothing, hair, and general overall appearance. I was struck by how this young woman experienced the […]
“I Saw Her from the Outside”
The struggle to feel like a separate person after years of being a twin involves hard work, motivation, and insight. A young woman in her midtwenties has been working diligently in therapy to feel distinct and differentiated. The other day in our session, she was describing an epiphany she had while she was helping her sister move into a new office. Understandably, her sister was stressed and overwhelmed in view of her situation; characteristically, she snapped at my patient and […]