My short presentation at the Budapest conference for the International Twin Society for Twin Studies and the World Congress of Twin Pregnancies conveyed my habitual passionate views about what twins require to become healthy individuals. I talked a bit about how parents struggle to differentiate and bond with two babies. Despite our best efforts, we default to labeling rather than describing each child. I am as guilty as the next person of labeling as it provides a shorthand communication that […]
Tag Archives: stereotypes
Limelight, Love, and Singularity
A father of twins raised a poignant dilemma during one of my recent presentations. He feels terribly uncomfortable praising one twin for his special talent and not being able to do the same for his other son. Specifically, he is uncomfortable complimenting one son’s musical skills because his brother does not demonstrate the same proficiency. He feels guilty and unclear about treating each one differently. That this dad equates praising one son as diminishing the other illustrates how much this […]
The Strength of Weak Ties
Dr. Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now discusses the notion of “weak ties” in her enlightening book about young adults. She postulates that twentysomethings who are attempting to define themselves both professionally and personally should reach out to those people they do not know well to help find opportunities for growth and development. While it may seem counterintuitive, she states her argument as follows: Weak ties are […]
Adolescence and Stories
I mentioned Meg Jay’s book in my last post and want to focus on it again here. In her book The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now she touches upon many issues that have relevance to twins’ emotional development. Since our most self-defining memories begin in adolescence, Dr. Jay contends that this developmental stage represents our first attempt to formulate life stories. She asked many of her patients to recall memories or stories […]
The Big Five
The “big five” in the world of psychology refers to five personality traits that describe how people interact with the world. (If you happen to be on a safari in Africa, the “big five” refers to the animals that you hope to spot during your safari drives—lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo, and rhinoceros.) The personality traits are as follows: Openness Conscientiousness Extraversion Agreeableness Neuroticism Dr. Meg Jay discusses these dynamics and what they mean in her book The Defining Decade: Why […]