A twin mom with four-year-old fraternal daughters called me for help with a behavioral issue. She discussed her frustration about her daughters’ inability to be patient and considerate while she attends to one of them. For example, she described a situation in which one of her daughters demanded her immediate attention. She had fallen off her chair unexpectedly and was startled. At the moment Mom rushed to comfort her, the other daughter started to scream that she had a “drastic” […]
Tag Archives: twins
It’s Hard Work Now—the Payoff Comes Later
I continue to be awed by an acquaintance of mine who is a mom to eight-year-old identical twin girls. Some people comment that having twins is like having two singletons born close together, but without the experience of parenting identical twins, a person might never understand how difficult daily parenting decisions are with two same-age children. Let me give you an example. My friend decided to make a chart so that each of her daughters could work on behaviors that […]
Managing Motherhood and Multiples
A few weeks ago, I acted as a cofacilitator for a small group of women with young twins. Most of the issues that the moms discussed are familiar and expectable challenges associated with raising multiples. One mom with ten-month-old twins talked about difficulties related to feeding and sleeping. She shared her story about a traumatic three-year battle with infertility that contributed to her unmitigated anxiety and feelings of helplessness during her pregnancy and after the children’s birth. Her boy/girl twins […]
What Did You Ever Do for Me?
I work with a pair of identical twin women whose individual temperaments are as diverse as night and day. One of the twins, Sue, is a school nurse, and the other, Ellen, crunches numbers at a food warehouse business. Much of the focus of our work has been articulating the differences in the way they think, feel, and approach life. At times, Sue becomes frustrated when she expresses her needs and feelings because Ellen has difficulty grasping abstract concepts such […]
Adolescence and Multiples: Steering Our Selfish and Sassy Teens to Selfhood
For most children in our Western societies, the goal of adolescence is to become more independent from their parents. In his terrific book on adolescent development, Dr. Anthony Wolf writes that adolescence is not a single event but a number of changes happening within a relatively short period. The two main forces of adolescence are the onset of sexuality and the turning away from parents. Young teens turn away from their childish feelings. They cannot feel close to or dependent […]