In the last few months, I have been working with two grieving families. In both instances, a fraternal twin died owing to accidental circumstances—a drug overdose and an automobile collision. The man was in his late thirties and the young woman in her late twenties. While my heart goes out to those who have lost a loved one, I am inclined to be most concerned about the surviving twins and their well-being. In both cases, the surviving twin was the […]
Tag Archives: twinship
Stop and Smell the Roses
I recently came across this quote that resonated with the blog that I wrote last month about parents of twins feeling overwhelmed times two. Psychoanalyst Dr. Steven Mitchell, on p. 147 of his book Hope and Dread in Psychoanalysis (Basic Books, 1993), wrote these words: When my older daughter was about two or so, I remember my excitement at the prospect of taking walks with her, given her new ambulatory skills and her intense interest in being outdoors. However, I […]
Call Me Old Fashioned
Having grown up in the nondigital era, I am still coming to terms with living in a world where no one wants or values privacy. The video clip of the reunion of the ten-year-old Chinese twins separated at birth that recently aired on the Today show seemed like an exploitative invasion of and impingement on a life-altering experience that should have been privately celebrated by these vulnerable young girls. While I do understand the excitement of unexpectedly discovering the twins’ […]
Ganging Up on Mom
A twin mom with four-year-old fraternal daughters called me for help with a behavioral issue. She discussed her frustration about her daughters’ inability to be patient and considerate while she attends to one of them. For example, she described a situation in which one of her daughters demanded her immediate attention. She had fallen off her chair unexpectedly and was startled. At the moment Mom rushed to comfort her, the other daughter started to scream that she had a “drastic” […]
It’s Hard Work Now—the Payoff Comes Later
I continue to be awed by an acquaintance of mine who is a mom to eight-year-old identical twin girls. Some people comment that having twins is like having two singletons born close together, but without the experience of parenting identical twins, a person might never understand how difficult daily parenting decisions are with two same-age children. Let me give you an example. My friend decided to make a chart so that each of her daughters could work on behaviors that […]