My husband and I had been planning a trip to Bermuda for quite a while because some dear friends asked us to join them at the conclusion of their business meetings. On a whim I decided to look for a multiples group. To my surprise and delight I found the Amazing Multiples, a group affiliated with the Meet-a-Mum Association (MAMA). Both groups did a fantastic job coordinating the details of my presentation. Since the talk was held in one of the […]
Tag Archives: twinship
Adult Twins: Identity, Rivalry, and Intimacy
Some twin pairs, not all, become disillusioned about their twinship because they struggle to be “known,” not just “noticed.” Since outsiders habitually relate to them as a unit or a fixed dyad, they expectedly have conflicts with their twin in an attempt to define or declare their individual selves. While twins fight just like different-aged siblings, their tensions have much more to do with establishing separateness and uniqueness, traits afforded naturally to siblings born at different times. Twins, especially identical […]
Love Me, Love Me Not
A mother of 15-year-old fraternal twin girls came to see me because she was concerned that the verbal and physical fighting between her daughters had escalated to a frightening degree. She told me that Elsa and Avery have always been close. She described Elsa as the easygoing twin who has habitually complied with and tolerated the overbearing behavior of her sister, Avery. But the girls’ attitudes and roles have shifted within the last few months. Avery has become increasingly […]
Twins Want to Win, Not Compromise
Learning how to be tolerant and open to disparate points of view is not easy or simplistic. Many people deliberately avoid discussions about politics, sex, or religion because such conversations evoke passionate and steadfast feelings and beliefs. But learning how to manage disagreements and divergent perspectives is vital for all of us in our intimate relationships because most of us—even identical twins—will not always be in agreement about significant decisions, actions, or opinions. When adult twins do not have sufficient […]